Friday, October 14, 2011

You Know You're A Peace Corps Volunteer in Uganda When...

* Reading a good book or watching goats graze is considered a “productive day.”
* You stare at foreign tourists as much as the local people do.
* You have to tell people to arrive for a 10:00AM meeting at 9:00AM for the meeting to start on time.
* You yourself begin to not keep time.
* You are awoken to the sounds of crowing roosters, crying goats, barking dogs, singing from morning mass, or children knocking on your door every morning.
* You want to strangle, maybe literally, the crowing roosters or crying goats every morning.
* Pooping in a bucket may be your only option at night.
* People regularly try to cheat you by charging you double or triple the price for any good or service.
* A taxi ride that should take 30 minutes to arrive at your destination actually takes 3 hours.
* Riding on a road full of potholes feels like just another ride on any given day.
* Walking down the street, children shout "muzungu” at you, but when you walk towards them, they run away either laughing or screaming in terror.
* Bucket bathing actually feels like a normal thing to do in the morning.
* Buying a soda for 1,500 UGX, or roughly $.60, is considered a luxury.
* You're using public transport; if your lap is empty, there is always room for more people.
* Coco Finger, Bebe Cool, Radio & Weasel, and Juliana are part of your everyday playlist.
* Rice, beans, and pringles are part of your everyday diet.
* Spiders are no longer your enemy, but rather your ally in the constant fight against bugs (mosquitoes, fleas, ticks, mango flies, Nairobi ants).
* 4 hours is considered to be a long work day.
* You distinguish between your Peace Corps family, your American family, and your Ugandan homestay family.
* 100+ pairs of eyeballs are staring at you at all times.
* You can’t order salad at any restaurant because the water may not be clean.
* Every song in a dance club sounds exactly the same.
* You have to sit in a specific way at a specific place in your house if you want to get internet.
* You have to ask the waitress 5 times to bring you the bill.
* You repeatedly have to air dry your clothes due to the sudden, afternoon rain showers.
* Your electronics die because of the constant dimming and “on-and-off” fluctuation in power.
* You see firsthand the damaging effects of how foreign aid perpetuates dependency, often goes into the wrong hands, and does not eliminate long-term need.
* You see firsthand the innocence, youthfulness, and enthusiasm of children despite the difficult circumstances in which they are often living.
* Yes, your neighbor really does have 18 children.
* 9 out of every 10 times, when you ask a child how he/she is doing, he/she will respond with, “I am fine.”
* The school you teach at is challenged daily with teacher absenteeism, student absenteeism, ineffective teaching, lack of student interest in learning, and a major lack of resources.
* You are often awoken to the sounds of buzzing mosquitoes hungry for your blood flying right outside your mosquito net.
* You enjoy the rare but surprisingly large selection of western food in Kampala.
* The combination of No running water + A flushing toilet + Laziness begins to really irritate your sense of smell after some time.
* You actually look forward to the completely random but vivid dreams that result from your malarial medication.
* Your headlamp becomes your best friend at site.
* President Obama, religion, and European premier league football are everyday conversation topics.
* Waiting typically takes up half your day.
* You learn to laugh at yourself and at the little things in life.
* You’ve made babies cry on multiple occasions because of the color of your skin exterior.
* MTN’s network reception as your phone carrier is not, in actuality, “Everywhere You Go.”
* You grow to really, really like Mexican soaps.
* You grow to really, really like Indian food.
* You feel incredibly fortunate to be living in “the Pearl of Africa” for two years.

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